Friday, March 06, 2009

Someone made a Watchmen movie...

It is nearly five in the morning, and I cannot sleep, because I just saw a two hour and forty minute movie at 12:30am that is still eating away at my mind.

Everyone keeps writing and saying "Who watches the Watchmen? WE DO!" like it's funny. It's not really. I guess it's fun to say or something but all I can think is STOP STEALING LINES FROM A BELOVED ARTISTIC WORK GOD DAMMIT! This usually gets me to swear at Hollywood marketing, but I suppose the line was far too obvious to pass up. My point is, I was sitting in the Arclight Theater in Hollywood at 12:30am when a little guy came out and spoke to us to get the crowd revved up. He said these lines. I had the sudden impulse to chuck my water bottle at him, but the rest of the crowd seemed to eat it up. It was hard not to get carried away with the crowd. Their cheers made me smile.

Their cheers are really the reason I go to midnight screenings. It's pretty fun to be in crowds like that. You pick a huge popular possibly famous theater and go to midnight opening screenings and you get to see things you've never seen before. These aren't the normal ordinary moviegoer. These people are the diehard movie fans, the people who are insane about what they are watching, who would rather dress up in costume and show up at a theater in the dead of night than sleep. These are the people who cheer and boo at screening, who sit around the theater afterwards debating the movie's very existance, and the people who threaten to get violent over anything they hate. These are the movie nuts, the obsessed fans, the analysts, the film geeks...my people, basically. Going to these screenings guarentees you will see people in costume (my friend Mike dressed as Nite Owl...and was in good company judging from all the other costumed people around). It guarentees you will know EXACTLY what they think of the movie right when the credits roll, simply from the atmosphere in the theater. Sometimes it also means to run into friends, or in the case of Los Angeles famous people.

Hysterical moment of the night; my friend Kurt stopping in midsentence in a sort of awe in order to stare at Syler/Spock walk within six inches of him. I swear to God, JJ Abrams was there too...which would make sense, since this is the Arclight in Hollywood (the #2 theater in the country according to Entertainment Magazine) and there were statues of the Watchmen cast and models of the fucking new Enterprise from the upcoming Star Trek movie.

Oh yeah, new Star Trek trailer be epic. Go see it here http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/

Anyway, got of subject...

The movie starts, people cheer. Thing happen, people cheer. End of movie, everyone is dead fucking silent.

That's not always a good sign.

Half the theater refused to move as the credits rolled, with a sort of "did we just watch that?" attitude that could be felt throughout the room. From what I could tell the reaction to the movie was all over. The haters were very, very vocal...about as vocal as the passionate lovers, really. The lobby was an interesting place after the movie. Argument and conversation popped up all over the place. The marketing catchphrase was forgotten amidst the arguments over "The Squid" and the slow motion effects. My group of about twenty people was part of these arguments.

What's the count? Most of them liked it, with a few reservations. A few absolutely loved it. One hated it so much he bailed within 30 seconds while refusing to talk about it. I get the feeling this is going to be the reaction of most the world. Meanwhile, as if we aren't professional enough, Roger Ebert is giving this motherfucker four stars.

So what did I think?

Short version: liked it a lot until the last fifteen minutes, and then I have some problems.

Long Version: They did 90% of this movie exactly like the comic, except with better fight scenes. The acting is pretty much perfect across the board. Jackie Earl Haley as Roscharch should get nominated for an Academy Award but won't. There are a few sequences in this movie that surpass anything you've seen before and become something awe inspiring. If the whole movie had been like these sequences, the movie would be one of the best movies of all time. That part of the comic where Dr. Manhattan is on Mars remembering his life out of order? It reaches a sort of amazing barely ever seen on screen. That alleyway fight? Made big and incredibly violent and oh so satisfying. Rosharch in prison killing a guy with fry oil? Fucking electric.

There are parts of this movie that makes me want to see it again. A way to describe a lot of this movie is electric. It's like being jolted by bolts of electricity going directly into your brain. It is uncompromisingly R rated, incredibly intelligent, and exactly what it needs to be. Up until the last fifteen minutes I was fully in love with this film.

And then something happened.

It wasn't a bad something exactly. They simply changed the ending from the comic. Something about "The Squid" which I'm not going to spoil here, but you've probably heard it by now anyway. The interesting part is, I have no problem with the major change involving "The Squid." I think the change is fine. It's the other minor thing they changed that bothered me.

See, they left out my favorite part of the comic. Actually, they left out the reason the comic actually EXISTS. They changed it. That's what bothers me. By taking out a simple scene that is the point of the comic, you have fundementally changed what the story is about. And that's a problem, because the now changed point of the story isn't as good as the original point of the comic.

Sorry if that seems vague, but I refuse to actually spoil it. Just see the damn movie. The major problem is that this ending seems about answering more questions and making the audience feel better. The original ending was about making a point, no matter how horrible it was. That's what made the comic great; you can disagree with the point the bad guy makes all you want, and you can see the alternative offered after everything has gone down. It has been the cause of tons of analysis and dissection over the last two decades, and the cause of loud arguments between many a comic geek.

You can't just simply change that because you want the audience to like your movie a bit more. You can't simply throw out these points in order for the heroes to get a slightly better, more cathartic ending. No, that doesn't work. That just ruins some of an otherwise classic story.

Forget "The Squid." I don't care about that change. If you see the movie and have read the book you will see the other minor changes. Then we can have a discussion.

The other 90% of the movie? Dark Knight level of rediculous amazingness. I might have to see this again on IMAX just to dissect the damn thing and all its crazy amount of layers.

I just wish the film had the balls to go all the way.

Judging from the reaction of most my friends and half the theater, I'm not the only one. Because I didn't really clap at the end. I smiled, I shrugged, and I walked out to talk about it.

And yet I still want to fucking give a standing ovation to The Dark Knight.

But what can I say? Someone made an honest to god Watchmen movie. Someone did something that many people thought impossible and filmed Watchmen...and they made it under three hours long too. This movie is to be commended, and it has to be seen to be believed. A Watchmen movie exists in my reality and I got to see it on the big screen...and it was actually pretty damn good.

So I guess I DID watch the Watchmen.

God Dammit.

That's a 4 out of 5 review for everyone, with the condition that on multiple viewings this movie might actually get better. It depends on if it grows on me like the comic did.

Go see it already, and do it with a very excited crowd of movie fanboys. You won't regret it. I never do...but then again I am one of them.

I'm going to bed now...

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the way you express yourself, it feels so real !

2:42 PM  

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